I celebrated my graduation from my life coach last week. This was a gradual process and was so subtle I barely noticed the transition because it came in baby steps that added up to one leg of my awesome journey. Using a life coach was a foreign concept to me when a friend told me about his experience with his coach. She was especially versed at relationships, and when he would share the wisdom he gleaned from her, I began to admire her views, so I set up a phone appointment for myself. Accustomed to face-to-face counseling, I felt awkward at first, but by the end of that first hour I could tell we were likeminded and she would be able to enhance my life. That was an understatement. She didn’t offer advice, listened and allowed me to speak openly which gave me the opportunity hear myself. When I came up with something surprising, I would laugh, sometimes cry and she would say gently and simply, “Sit on that for a minute.” I likely paid as much for our silent moments as the conversational ones, yet I found them to be just as enlightening.
My coach hosted a long healing weekend in Florida during one December, so I made the trip to attend. “What’s not to like about a peaceful retreat from Northern weather,” was my initial thought. Climate aside, those four days were life transforming. As inspiring as she was on the phone, in person I found her to be one of the most reverent individuals I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Her loving embrace when she welcomed me at the door radiated ambiance and comfort, something that I have since learned to generate on my own, but was far removed from me then.
At the retreat, our small group talked of how we are all like a metaphorical orange, buried in layers of emotions that need to be peeled away until our inner being is exposed, ready to be enjoyed. We traded ideas about recognizing our emotions and facing them head on, becoming friends with the bad as well as the good. On my own, I developed a habit of naming mine, a technique that ended up being very therapeutic and I now share with my own clients. We spent quiet reflective time alone on the beach and also in group discussion, all helpful. We were encouraged to select a word for the weekend to take home with us. Mine was “Believe,” which reflected a revelation I had that weekend and plays a big part of each of my days still.
After I returned, we continued our calls as needed, my doing my homework, she guiding as we went. I conquered my demons and confronted my emotional baggage, one suitcase at a time on my own, reporting back to her as I went. As I strengthened, she noted my drive to help others (described it accurately as a serving heart) and saw me drifting toward healing work and steered me in that direction. Book recommendations, encouragement and a nonstop reminder to let my love shine followed. When I knew I had made the jump from healing to healer she pressed further. I thought I had made considerable progress when I met my spirit guide, yet she sent me exploring deeper. Her genius intuition knows how to get me to challenge even my divine self.
Last month I experienced the moment when I knew I was ready to release myself from her care. Through her methodical prompting and my journaling work, my metaphorical orange exposed itself one day through an epiphany that stunned me. The last and thickest layer to go wasn’t a demon at all. It was my deepest love never acknowledged, instead hidden and abandoned. The forever kind that has transcended space and time, came in the form of a gift from the Universe decades ago and never left. There it has remained, suppressed by denial and stifled words that got stuck in my thoughts and throat when my heart needed to speak them time after opportune time. When realization settled over me, I gathered it up in my arms like a long lost child and choked out those unspoken words one at a time, then repeated them confidently out loud, crying tears of joy. As soon as I stopped, I scheduled a celebratory graduation appointment with my coach for Valentine’s Day.
On February 14, 2017, she patiently listened and laughed with me as I declared those words while admitting the most beautiful love story I have ever told, my own. I live it now with an open heart, carried not buried. Orange peeled, heart cleared, truth shared, I walked across that stage into the waiting audience of serving others (my Sacred work as she calls it). Just as I intuitively knew when to begin with her and every time I needed to hear her voice in between, I knew when I was ready to leave the comfortable nest of her guiding wisdom to venture out on my own. My clients were waiting, and others asking. She gave me a blessing to go out into the world and shine for others as she has so brightly done for me. “The Universe needs you.”
From one beacon to another, Angel, genuine thanks and blessings for bringing me out of the dark by always listening, guiding, supporting and especially for believing in my version of living and loving happily ever after. You are indeed the most beautiful spirit.